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2018年12月11日 09:22:47来源:兰州晨报

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  • Although 40,000 people gathered on May 26th and 27th for Shanghai#39;s Matchmaking Expo, Yu Bin doesn#39;t expect to find a wife among them. Mr Yu, a 26-year-old policeman, describes himself as conservative and is looking for a woman with ;traditional virtues;. His attendance at the expo, the city#39;s largest yet, is a long shot; he would prefer a marriage set up by colleagues or by his parents. It worked for them 30 years ago, he says.尽管5月26日至27日有四万人参加了上海婚恋览会,但余斌(音)并不期望在其中找到另一半。余先生今年26岁,是一名警察,自认为是一名保守的男人,正在寻找一位拥有;传统美德;的女性。他参加这次婚恋览会(尽管这是上海市最大的一次了),成功找到另一半的机会相当渺茫;他更希望通过同事或父母介绍对象。他说,30年前,父母们的婚姻就是这样建立起来的。On the other side of the vast expo park, Fancy Huang is arguing with her mother. At 25, Ms Huang (who chose her English name herself) is two years shy of the ded age at which she will be branded a shengnu, or ;leftover woman;. Her cousins are all married, so her parents are applying pressure. Ms Huang#39;s mother is stewing. ;Sometimes my daughter says she would rather buy a flat by herself and live alone,; she says. ;It#39;s so bizarre.;在宽阔世园的另一边,范希·黄正在与她的母亲争论。黄女士(她的英文名是自己取的)今年25岁,再过两年,她将会被人称为剩女。她的表兄们都已经结婚了,因此她的父母正在催她结婚。黄女士的母亲焦虑不安。她说:;有时我的女儿说她宁愿自己买一套房子一个人生活。这太奇怪了。;Mr Yu and Ms Huang are just two of the thousands of young people trying to navigate China#39;s modern marriage market. At the expo there is no shortage of assistance. On one stage, a glamorous woman in a fuchsia minidress is hosting a public matchmaking session. A bachelor comes onstage and sings a song to 12 female contestants who hold up paddles with either a smiley or a sad face. Elsewhere, mass speed-dating events are under way. Dating agencies vie for singles to sign up. Their websites are wildly popular in China. One such site, Jiayuan, is listed on America#39;s NASDAQ stockmarket.余先生和黄女士只是数千名年轻人中的两位,他们正在试图摸清中国的现代婚恋市场。在览会上并不缺少帮助。在一个舞台上,一位身穿紫红色短裙的美女正在主持一场大众相亲会。单身男子上台向十二名女嘉宾唱一首歌,然后女嘉宾要么举起笑脸的牌子,要么举起伤心表情的牌子。其他地方正在开展大众速配活动。婚恋公司相互竞争让单身们成为自己网站的注册用户。它们的网站在中国广受欢迎。一家这样的网站——世纪佳缘网已经在美国的纳斯达克股票市场上市。In the past 30 years the Chinese search for a spouse has, like so much else, been transformed. Confucian thought emphasised a match#39;s significance for society rather than for the individuals involved. Though formal arranged marriages were banned in 1950, parents and colleagues continued well into the new century to help couples pair up (some still do).在过去30里,与许多其他事情一样,中国人寻找另一半的方式已经改变了。儒家思想强调婚姻之于社会的意义而不是之于个人的意义。尽管在1950年已经禁止公开的包办婚姻,但父母和同事帮忙相亲一直持续到了新世纪(现在仍然是如此)。The recent decline of such practices, especially in cities, in favour of choosing your own mate, has coincided with huge demographic shifts. China#39;s skewed birth ratio (118 boys to every 100 girls) means that there will be a surplus of about 24m bachelors by 2020. And women#39;s increasing socio-economic freedom makes them pickier when choosing a husband.最近这种情况减少了,更倾向于自己找对象,在城市尤其是如此,这正好赶上了巨大的人口变迁。中国扭曲的出生率(男女出生比率为118比100)意味着,到2020年,近2400万名男子将成为光混。而随着女性在社会经济方面的自由度越来越大,她们在挑选丈夫时将更加挑剔。Mr Yu, the traditionalist, remains hopeful. ;We just haven#39;t been in the right place at the right time,; he says of his putative partner. Other bachelors are less patient. Last month, the ;Multi-Millionaire Seeking Spouses in Ten Cities Show; launched in the southern city of Guangzhou. Eleven Chinese millionaires are paying a luxury matchmaking agency 5m yuan (0,000) for assistance. One of them, a billionaire, has particular requirements: suitable candidates should be aged 20-26, weigh less than 50kg (110lb) and have no sexual experience. So far more than 5,000 young women have applied.传统的余先生仍然满怀希望。他在谈到自己今后的另一半时说:;我们只是缘分未到而已。;其他单身们就没这么沉得住气了。上月,南部城市广州发起了;亿万富豪十城求偶秀;。11位中国的百万富豪付500万元(合79万美元),向一家豪华的婚恋公司求助。其中一位亿万富翁开出了特殊的条件:年龄20-26岁、体重不超过50公斤(合110磅)、纯洁之身才可入围。到目前为止已有5000多名年轻女性报名申请。 /201206/187188
  • Breaking up with his girlfriend forced one lonely guy to take drastic action - and he ended up reaching out to thousands of people all over the world.一位孤独男孩失恋之后作出惊人之举,结果是他结识了全世界几千位陌生人。When a devastated Jeff Ragsdale, a stand-up comedian and actor from New York, was left #39;near suicidal#39; after breaking up with his girlfriend, he realized he felt like the loneliest man in the world in a city of more than eight million.纽约的喜剧演员Jeff Ragsdale失恋之余几欲自杀。泱泱纽约,八百万人众,却无一人孤寂能与其比肩。So Jeff decided to do something drastic - he put fliers up all over New York saying: #39;If anyone wants to talk about anything, call me (347) 469-3173. Jeff, one lonely guy.#39;因此Jeff决定做件惊人大事:他在纽约的大街小巷张贴传单,表示:“无论你有任何事想要倾诉,请联系(347)469-3173. 我是Jeff,一个孤独的男人。”The response he got was overwhelming.而他收到的回复则是铺天盖地之多。#39;Immediately, New Yorkers started calling in overwhelming numbers and after a week it went viral and people from all over the world were calling,#39; Jeff said.“很快,许多纽约人给我打了电话,一周后来自世界各地的电话以病毒传播的速度纷至沓来,我应接不暇。” Jeff坦言。In the first day he got 100 calls and texts. One week later it was up to one thousand. It is now more than 70,000 and the calls and texts are still coming thick and fast even after eight months.People have been calling from all over the world - as far away as Vietnam, England, Saudi Arabia and Japan.第一天他就收到了100个电话和数不清的短信。一周后这个数字就蹿升到了1000。至今为止他已经收到了超过70000个电话,而短信数目还在不断攀升,即便已经是8个月后的今天,这样的情况还在继续。来自越南、英国、沙特阿拉伯和日本的世界各地的人都给他打来了电话。Around 40 per cent were people calling from New York, ranging from pimps to prisoners to a Wall Street trader.给他打电话的人中40%是纽约人,他们有的身处花街柳巷,有的身陷囹圄,当然也不乏华尔街商人的身姿。Jeff, 40, said he is still in touch almost daily with about 20 people he #39;clicked with#39;.现年40岁的的Jeff目前每天仍保持与“随机点中”的20位进行联系。Many people called him just to say he wasn#39;t alone, others gave him advice, others vented at him, other counseled, he counseled others.许多人打电话告诉他,他并非孤身一人。有些人给他建议,有些人则向他发泄心中所想,有人给他出谋划策,而他也给对方出谋划策。So touched was he by the experience he decided to write a book about it. He revealed his favorite calls are when #39;a person is completely candid and we help each other out by venting and listening#39;.心有所感的他决定写下这段经历的点点滴滴。他谈到了他最在意的一个电话,对方毫无保留,畅谈心事,他们互相倾诉聆听,帮助对方也帮助了自己。#39;One of my favorites was a call by this disabled mother in the U.S,#39; he said.“有一个电话我记忆犹新,那是来自美国的残疾母亲。”他这么说。#39;In 45 minutes she passed on a lifetime of wisdom. She taught me that I’m never going to be happy until I love myself. ’“短短的45分钟,她畅谈了人生感悟,带给我的是生命的智慧。她教会了我只有爱自己才能感到幸福。”#39;I have not liked myself in the past. For me this was revolutionary, trying to start to like myself. Happiness, she said, must to come from inside.’“以前我从不爱惜自己。因此,她的话让我的思想发生了翻天覆地的改变。试着去爱自己,她对我说那就是来自我们内心深处的幸福。” /201207/190754
  • If you want to see a sensitive vampire falling in love with a teenage girl but you don’t want to wait for another Twilight movie, Paul Wesley is bringing sexy back to TV this Fall on the CW’s The Vampire Diaries.Stefan Salvatore, The Vampire Diaries新剧《吸血鬼日记》CW台金秋即将上演的美剧《吸血鬼日记》又是一部讲述吸血鬼和少女之间爱情的故事。男主角Paul Wesley看起来很帅的样子。 /201007/109896
  • IN THIS ARTICLE: Getting hooked on the Internet isn't confined to a few computer nerds. It's on the rise everywhere--and women are the most likely addicts. Ingrid Parker, once a slave to Internet chatrooms, found her experiences so devastating that she wrote a book to help other addicts break the habit. --Editor 本文简介:沉醉于因特网而难以自拔的人已不再局限于少数计算机迷了。对因特网痴迷的人越来越多,到处都是--妇女最可能成为对因特网着迷的人。英格丽德·帕克一度沉溺于网上聊天,后来发现那段经历使她损失不小,因而写了一本书以帮助其他网上君子们改掉上网成瘾的毛病。。 [1]It's the equivalent of inviting sex addicts to a brothel or holding an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting at the pub. Internet addicts tired of their square-eyed, keyboard tapping ways need look no further than the Web for counselling. There is now an online counselling service at www.relate.org.nz for Internet obsessives. Just e-mail the details of your Internet-induced crisis and help comes direct to your inbox. The new breed of cybertherapists see nothing strange about offering help through the very medium that is swallowing their clients' free time and splitting their marriages. [2] Sue Hine, of Relationship Services, says: "Internet obsession has become a more noticeable problem over the last 18 months. At least this is an area addicts are familiar with and they'll be able to use it as a tool to overcome their obsession." Nor do experts worry that the Relate Website might become a favourite--a place to spend hours online in the name of Internet therapy. Dependency is always a risk with any form of counselling. There are various strategies we can adopt to keep that in perspective, says Hine. [3] Though some may regard Internet addiction as another dubious ailment dreamed up to keep therapists in work, Relationship Services says the problem is real. [4] Internet usage is up to four-and-a-half hours on the Web each week, compared to three-and-a-half hours a year ago. Therapist Robin Paul says there tend to be two scenarios. Some people meet through chatrooms and fall in love. It's like having an affair, then they meet and it's like a whirlwind honeymoon. It's devastating for the person left behind and quite often it has no real foundation. [5] I saw one couple who were still together but it was very rocky. He met someone on the Net and went overseas to meet the woman. Then he left his wife and children to be with her. In another case I saw recently, a man left his three children to be with a woman (who was) leaving her four children. It's terribly hard on the kids when this happens. [1]上网成瘾如同邀约好色的人逛妓院,或者在小酒馆里举行"嗜酒者互诫协会"(AA)会员集会。网迷们疲劳地盯着显示屏,敲击着键盘,只想通过万维网寻求咨询。现在有一种为网迷开设的网上咨询务,其网址是:www.relate.org.nz。你只需把上网引发的"危机"详情用电子邮件发出去,就会从你的邮箱中直接收到帮助信息。新式的计算机治疗专家认为,通过网络寻求帮助并不奇怪,正是它吞噬着网迷们的自由时间,而且危及到他们的婚姻。 [2]"关系务"网站的苏·海英说:"在最近的18个月中,上网成瘾已经成为一个非常突出的问题。务网站至少是网迷熟悉的地方,他们将能够把它作为戒掉网瘾的工具来使用。"专家们也并不担心务网站会成为上网者最爱光顾的地方--一个网迷们花费在线时间进行网上诊疗的地方。依赖于任何形式的咨询务总是靠不住的。海英说,我们可以采取各种措施使务网站发挥有效作用。 [3]有些人认为,沉醉于因特网的人是患有某种假想的精神失调症,这只是使得精神治疗专家有事可做。然而,关系务网站却认为这个问题确实存在。 [4]一年前,万维网的使用率为每周3.5小时,而现在达到了4.5小时。诊疗专家罗宾·保罗说,痴迷于因特网往往表现为两种情形。有的人在聊天室相识并坠人爱河。这就像有了不正当关系,然后约会,像蜜月一般慌慌张张的。被抛弃的一方在感情上会受到极大的打击,而这种网上恋爱通常全然没有现实的基础。 [5]"我曾目睹一对夫妇,他们仍在一起,但彼此之间的感情已经摇摇欲坠。男方在网上有了外遇,就飘洋过海去与网上恋人见面,之后,他为了和她在一起而抛妻弃子。在我最近看到的另一个例子中,男方为了跟某个女人在一起,抛下了自己的三个孩子,而那个女人也准备离开她的四个孩子。这种事情可害苦了那些孩子们。 [6] The second scenario is that a person starts spending more and more time on the Net. They may not meet someone else but they don't spend any time with their partner and of course the relationship suffers." [7] Such stories may appear to be almost urban legends, so ashamed are Internet addicts and their partners. After all, who wants to admit they have a 100 a day habit (e-mails, that is) or are somehow less alluring than a piece of hardware? But in America, which has long had a love affair with both therapy and the Net, these stories are common. [8] A recent survey of 17,251 Internet users found nearly 6 per cent had some sort of addiction to the medium. They revealed that their online habit contributed to disrupted marriages, childhood delinquency, crime and over-spending. Tap into online addiction sites and you'll find messages such as: "Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Webaholic." [9] Witness the plight of Ohio woman Kelli Michetti, who literally became a computer hacker because of her husband's constant online chatting. When she crashed a meat cleaver through her husband's computer terminal that solved the problem, although naturally it led to difficulties with the police. [10] Or take the classic Internet addiction story of Ingrid Parker, a woman who became such a slave to the Internet--especially chat rooms-- that it took over her life. She made do with two hours' sleep a night, had marathon weekend computer sessions of up to 17 hours and fell in love with a married man in the US state of Oregon. [5]"我曾目睹一对夫妇,他们仍在一起,但彼此之间的感情已经摇摇欲坠。男方在网上有了外遇,就飘洋过海去与网上恋人见面,之后,他为了和她在一起而抛妻弃子。在我最近看到的另一个例子中,男方为了跟某个女人在一起,抛下了自己的三个孩子,而那个女人也准备离开她的四个孩子。这种事情可害苦了那些孩子们。 [6]"另一种情形是:有的人把越来越多的时间耗在因特网上。他们也许没有网上情人要见面,可也不愿花时间去陪伴自己的爱人,夫妻关系当然会因此遭到破坏。" [7]诸如此类的情形几乎成了一个个都市传奇故事,让那些痴迷于因特网的人以及他们的爱人感到惭愧。毕竟,谁也不愿意承认他们有每天收发100封电子邮件的习惯,或者承认自己竟然不比一部机器有吸引力。然而,对于美国这么一个与心理治疗和网络结缘已久的国家来说,此类故事不足为奇。 [8]最近的一项调查显示,在1721名因特网用户中,有近6%的用户程度不同地痴迷于上网。这些网迷承认,他们上网成癖导致了婚姻破裂、使孩子误人歧途、滋生犯罪而且经济上入不敷出。敲击键盘进入网迷站点,你会发现这样一些信息:"嗨,我叫鲍勃,一个网虫。" [9]俄亥俄州一名叫凯莉·米切蒂的妇女的困窘处境就是一个见。由于她的丈夫经常上网聊天,凯莉成了地道的电脑黑客。她擅自闯入其丈夫的电脑终端解决了这个问题,但是,不用说这惹出了麻烦,惊动了警方。 [10]英格丽德·帕克的故事也是典型事例,她成了因特网的奴隶--尤其钟情于网上聊天--上网甚至成了生活中主要的内容。她曾经一晚上只睡2小时,周末连续17个小时玩电脑,并且和美国俄勒冈州的一个已婚男子相恋。 [11] Her computer dream turned to nightmare when she sold up and moved to be with her cyberpal (who had just left his wife), only to be told a week later that the couple were getting back together. [12] The heart-breaking turn of events gave her the motivation to control her addiction--and write the book Caught in the Web. [13] Dr Kimberly Young, who set up The Centre for Online Addiction (www.netaddiction.com) in America, studied 396 people whom she considered were psychologically dependent on the Net. They ranged in age from 14 to 70 and spent an average of 38.5 hours a week on the Web. [14] Her study, backed by further research in Britain, found that women were more likely to become addicts. So while the old stereotypical addict was a young man who spent hours playing games, downloading software or ing messages on newsgroups, the new image is of a young woman who fritters away hours e-mailing friends, buying books and CDs online, talking in chatrooms and looking for information for next year's holiday. [15] I guess I was a typical example of someone hooked on the Internet," says Parker, who now spends just an hour a day online. "I was coming home at lunchtime to get on the computer. At 6 p.m. I'd feed my son and put him to bed but all the time I was going backwards and forwards to the computer. Then I'd stay up until 5a.m. or 6 a.m., typing away ' chatting' on my computer screen all night." /200809/47193
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