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2019年02月19日 18:32:26 | 作者:国际对话 | 来源:新华社
我们折衷一下吧。你做我说的一切,我说你做的一切。Is romantic love a mental illness, as Plato said, a story that ends in death or the highest human achievement?Sarah Vine and Tania KindersleyThere are 21 dictionary definitions for the word love. Every woman may come to a point in her middle life when she suspects that she doesn't understand the first thing about any of these. Poets, philosophers, playwrights and pop singers from Socrates to Stevie Wonder have had a great deal to say about love.It is the sweetest thing; it is a red, red rose; it is a battlefield; it is a drug, a delusion, a lunacy. It is the answer, and the question. It is a balm, and a piercing arrow. H.L.Mencken compared it to perceptual anaesthesia; Keats wrote that it was his religion; Shakespeare called it a familiar, a devil, an ever-fixed mark, a smoke, a fire, a sea, a madness, a fever, a choking gall; it is like sunshine after rain, and does not bend.Of the various loves, romantic love is the most complicated and inexplicable. It can come on when you least expect it (and with the most unsuitable person), it can cast you from the heights of ecstasy to the abyss of despair, it can roar in you one moment then dissipate as quickly as breath on glass. It is what drives you to offer yourself to another human for the rest of your natural life, but only a few years later you may look back and have no memory at all of that initial ecstasy. Romantic love can be so confusing that sometimes you simply want to give up on the whole thing and concentrate on the nature of dark matter, or macroeconomics, or something else less tiring.A little biology can be helpful here. In the first throes of romantic love you are under the influence of a powerful chemical cocktail: dopamine (which makes opiates look like aspirin) is rushing through your veins. As if that were not enough, a perfect mixture of vasopressin and oxytocin, the attachment hormones, are raging around your body. Much of this was discovered through extensive study of prairie voles, who mate for life, spend a great deal of time tenderly grooming each other and nesting together, and studiously avoid meeting other potential partners.If only all men were just like prairie voles, we say, but if wishes were horses we would all be Lady Godiva.Aside from the chemical cosh, you also have the small-brain problem. MRI scans have shown that falling in love involves only a very tiny part of the brain, a much smaller part than is used when, say, operating heavy machinery. Researchers at University College London have remarked wryly that it was fascinating to reflect that Helen of Troy could have launched a thousand ships through the agency of such a limited expanse of cortex.It is vital, therefore, to bear in mind that when falling in love and choosing your mate you may be making a decision about the rest of your life based on only a fraction of your cognitive function. This limited section of the brain is also the exact same part that responds to cocaine, which means that you may select a partner for life, move to Anchorage and decide to make many babies, all based on the same area of the cortex that enjoys an illegal substance that makes you talk accelerated gibberish all night long.Plato said that love is a mental disease. Modern researchers agree enthusiastically, categorising love as a form of madness and echoing what psychologists have been telling tearful patients for years. (There are certain shrinks who refuse to treat people in the early throes of love because they are too insane to do a thing with.) Currently, scientists are having a genteel academic squabble over whether love most closely resembles the manic phase of bipolar disorder or the characteristics seen in obsessive compulsive disorder.There is also a school of thought that insists love is a cultural phenomenon. As the great French cynic La Rochefoucauld said: “People would not fall in love if they had not heard love talked about.” The culture keeps up a rapid-fire bombardment of the power and the glory of romantic love, and yet it seems curious that so many of the Greatest Love Stories Ever Told - Cathy and Heathcliff, Tristan and Isolde, Heloise and Abelard, Lancelot and Guinevere - end in disaster, if not death and carnage. If we were being really sceptical, we might conclude that it is delusional that “in love” should be regarded as the greatest and most time-consuming aspiration of the modern female. /200902/626981、You Can Eat After 8 P.M. 晚上八点后也能吃东西It doesn't matter what time of day you eat. It is what and how much you eat and how much physical activity you do during the whole day that determines whether you gain, lose, or maintain your weight. No matter when you eat, your body will store extra calories as fat. If you want a snack before bedtime, think first about how many calories you've eaten that day.一天中什么时候吃并不重要,重要的是你吃了什么、吃了多少、一整天的运动量如何。这些才能导致你的体重或增、或减,或保持不变。不管你什么时候吃,你的身体都会储存多余的脂肪做能量储备。如果你想在睡前吃些点心,先想想你一天总共吃了多少吧。 /201107/145418NO.1 双鱼座NO.1 Pisces

Do women cheat as much as men do?by Erin Flaherty, Shine stafThat's the first question the latest infidelity studies point to. The second is: If you cheated on your spouse, would you even admit it to a researcher?Historically, the male sex gets most of the flak when it comes to infidelity among spouses. But that could be due to those tired old gender roles we're cast in. A recent New York Times report implies that women may simply be more likely to lie about it for that very reason. Research professor of anthropology at Rutgers Helen E. Fisher suggests that, “Men want to think women don’t cheat, and women want men to think they don’t cheat, and therefore the sexes have been playing a little psychological game with each other.” Fun!“Is it that men are bragging about it and women are lying to everybody including themselves?” she asks. Makes sense. After all, it's no secret that the widely held double standard that men who cheat are "studs" while women are "sluts" is still disturbingly prevalent.Still, the changes in the landscape of cheating have surprised researchers who have found that infidelity is on the rise and "women appear to be closing the adultery gap: younger women appear to be cheating on their spouses nearly as often as men."That's not to say that the guys are entirely off the hook. Medical advances like Viagra and erectile dysfunction remedies ensure that those with XY chromosomes can cheat longer and um, stronger. But when it comes to the younger set, women may be finding more opportunities to cheat via interoffice affairs and the good 'ole World Wide Web. While men might be content to "stray" by looking at porn--a relatively benign form of infidelity in the grand scheme of things--Atlanta psychiatrist Dr. Frank Pittman notes that he's observed more women acknowledging sexual affairs that began with electronic contact born out of the desire to emotionally connect with someone on a more intimate (and therefore stereotypically "feminine") level.So yes, it would appear that women certainly cheat more than they're usually given credit for. (Of course, who wants to take credit for something as damaging as an extramarital affair?) But when it comes to our original second question pertaining to the idea that the fairer sex is more likely to lie about it due to societal double standards, one wonders if the modern woman has just become more open about her transgressions than in the past?In the absence of hard and fast numbers--as opposed to all this admittedly speculative research--when it comes to adultery, here's the real question for the ladies out there: Have you ever cheated and well, kept mum about the damn thing? (As opposed to say, bragging about your conquests in the locker room or whatever?) 这是最新背信研究所指向的第一个问题:是否女人和男人一样爱说谎?第二个问题是:如果你对你的配偶不忠,你是否会向研究员承认。从以前的观点来看,当提到配偶之间背叛的事男性都会大大的吹嘘一番。这种背叛或许是因为厌倦了古老的性别角色。最近《纽约时报》报道暗示女人在配偶背叛问题上更趋向于说谎。罗格斯大学的人类学研究教授海伦-费希尔建议说:amp;ldo?quo;男人都想着女人不会说谎,女人也希望男人如此认为,因此男女之间开始在相互之间玩一些心理游戏。”非常有趣!她问:amp;ldo?quo;是否男人爱在这事上吹牛而女人却对任何人都说谎甚至是自己。”有意思。毕竟,这没有任何秘密,有两种标准在评判男女背叛的事,当男人背叛的时候就比较“缄默” 而女性“放荡”却邻人不安的广为传扬。在背叛上的变化令研究人员很吃惊,他们发现背叛呈现上升的趋势,同时女性似乎在缩小这种差距:年轻的女性背叛配偶的频率和男人是一样的。这并不是说男人都摆脱了这种背叛的困境。医学方面的进步像“伟哥”等药物能让XY染色体的男性背叛的更为长久和强烈。但是到比较年轻的一代,女性更容易找到背叛的机会,比如说在办公室之间,还有网络。同时男性过于沉迷色情文学--在这一大类事上算一种相对良好的行为--亚特兰大精神病医生弗兰克-皮特曼指出他发现大多女性起初知道性事是通过网络的接触,继而希望与某人在感情接触上发展到更加亲密的程度。是的,显然女性的背叛行为比他们承认的多。(当然,谁都不想分享这种只会带来损害的事)但是当我们回到最初的第二个问题,女性更趋向于说谎是因为社会的双重标准,有人就想是否现代女性对于自己的背叛会更加的开放?由于缺少严格的数据--作为反对这些无可否认的投机的研究---当遭遇到通奸行为的时候,各位女士的问题就出现了:你是否有背叛行为,是否对这该死的事保持沉默。(把这些都隐藏起来,藏在一个上锁的房子或者其他地方) /200811/55460

养育子女成本逾20万美元Middle-income families can expect to spend 4,060 on feeding, housing and schooling a child born in 2007 until his or her 18th birthday, the US government reported on Monday.Child care and education costs will represent a larger share of costs for raising the '07 baby through adulthood than they have in the past, the Agriculture Department said in an annual study on child-rearing costs."The cost of providing food decreased from 24 percent to 17 percent of total child-rearing costs, while child care and education expenses increased from 2 percent to 12 percent," the department said.Housing will be the single largest cost for U.S. families -- making up 33 to 27 percent of total expenses across income groups, USDA said.Factoring in inflation, the grand total for middle-income families comes to 9,040, USDA said. Total costs also include transportation, health care, and other necessities.Child-rearing costs have soared since USDA began conducting its annual study in 1960, and can vary dramatically according to a family's income.Families making less than ,800 before taxes can expect to spend less, 8,320 in real terms over the course of their child's first 17 years. Those on the other end of the income spectrum, making more than ,100 a year, will spend 8,680 in 2007 dollars on raising their '07 child.Even though the study does not include the cost of college, USDA found that children get more expensive as they get older. Teenagers were the most costly.The department also noted that child-rearing costs are the greatest in the urban West, and lowest in the urban Midwest and rural areas across the country. 据美国政府本周一称,对于美国中等收入家庭而言,要抚养一个2007年出生的孩子至18岁,预计在食物、住房和教育方面的出需要20.406万美元。美国农业部的子女养育成本年度调查结果显示,与过去相比,要将一个2007年出生的孩子抚养成人,其保育和教育开在总出中所占的比重增大。美国农业部称:“食物成本在子女养育总成本中所占的比重从24%下降至17%,而保育和教育成本则从2%上升到了12%。”据介绍,住房出将成为美国家庭最大的单笔开销——占各收入阶层家庭出的33%至27%不等。美国农业部称,如将通胀因素考虑进去,中等收入家庭将一个2007年出生的孩子抚养成人需要26.904万美元,这其中还包括交通费、医疗费和其它必需开。自美国农业部1960年开展这项年度调查以来,美国的子女养育成本大幅增长,同时这也会因家庭收入的不同而出现很大差别。税前年收入不足4.58万美元的家庭在抚养孩子上的花费相对较少,预计17年的实际总出为14.832万美元;而年收入超过7.71万美元的高收入家庭的育儿开预计将达到29.868万美元。虽然调查未将上大学的成本计算在内,但美国农业部发现,随着孩子年龄的增长,他们需要用钱的地方越来越多。孩子在十几岁时花销最大。美国农业部还指出,从全国来看,西部城市养育子女的成本最高,中西部城市和农村地区最低。 /200803/32584

Stork An old belief is that the stork is a sign of good luck, because it foretells the birth of a child. Parents often explain the mystery of birth to their young children by saying that they were brought by the stork.Swallow It is considered a sign of good luck if a swallow builds its nest under the eaves of one's house. Dryden says in his poem, "Swallows are unlucky birds to kill."Swan Stories say that before a swan dies, it sings beautiful songs. Many great ancient writers, including Plato, Aristotle, Euripides, Cicero, Seneca and others had this false belief. In Othello, Emilia, just before his death, says:I will play the swan,And die in music.In English, the last work produced by an artist, writer, or composer, or the last performance of an actor or singer it often called his or her swan song. For example, Schubert's last and greatest collection of songs is called Swan song, which was written in 1828 before his death.According to a Greek legend, the soul of Apollo, the god of music and poetry, passed into a swan. So some people say the souls of all good poets passed into swans. For this reason, Shakespeare is called the Swan of Avon; Virgil, the Swan of Mantua; Homer, the Swan of Meander. /200906/73458

Men, sharing your bed reduces brainpowerSharing your bed can reduce your brain power - but only if you are a man, say scientists.When men spend the night in the same bed with someone else their sleep patterns are disturbed, even if they do not make love, new research shows.And this leads to poorer performance in mental agility tests the next day.However women do not suffer the same problem. They too have disturbed sleep if they share a bed, but tend to get better quality rest when they do finallydrop off. This means their brain power remains undiminished.The finding suggests that if a man has an important day ahead he would be best to head off to thespare roomto sleep rather than sharing the marital bed.A team led by Professor Gerhard Kloesch at the University of Vienna recruited eight unmarried, childless couples in their twenties for their study.He asked them to spend 10 nights sleeping apart and ten together while he monitored their rest patterns at night through wrist monitors and sleep diaries.The next day he gave them mental ability or 'cognitive' tests.Even without having sex, everyone had more disturbed sleep when sharing a bed than alone but the effects of this on the brain only affected the men, according to the finding.According to the research report, lack of sleep led to increased stress hormone levels in men and reduced their ability to perform simple cognitive tests the next day.However women seemed to show no such ill-effects even if their sleep was just as disturbed. The researchers found women were more refreshed than men even when they slept the same number of hours and so concluded they must sleep more deeply. The study also found sharing a bed can impact on dreams. Typically women remembered more of their dreams after sleeping alone while men recalled the most after sex. 科学家提示:如果你是男性,和伴侣同床共枕会使你的脑力下降。一项最新研究表明,如果男性和伴侣同床而眠,即使不做爱,他们的睡眠模式也会被打乱。这会导致他们在第二天的大脑反应灵敏度下降。然而,女性却不会受到这个问题的困扰。当然,她们和伴侣同床时,睡眠也会受到影响,但她们一旦睡着了,身体就会得到很好的休息。这就意味着她们的脑力没有下降。研究结果建议,如果第二天有重要的事情要做,男性在前一天晚上最好去客房睡,而不要和伴侣睡在一起。维也纳大学的这个研究小组由杰哈德·克罗奇教授担任组长,共招募了8对20多岁的未婚无子女情侣作为研究对象。杰哈德·克罗奇教授让他们分床睡10个晚上,再同床睡10个晚上,与此同时,他通过调查对象的手腕监视器和睡眠日记来监视他们晚上的睡眠状态。第二天,再让他们做脑力或"认知"测试。结果表明,即使没有性生活,每个人和伴侣同床而睡时,睡眠质量都要比单独睡时差。但只有男性的大脑会因此受到影响。调查报告称,缺乏睡眠会导致男性体内应激激素水平升高,从而使他们第二天应付简单认知测试的能力下降。然而,女性的睡眠即使受到影响,她们却没有类似的不良反应。研究人员们还发现,女性和男性睡眠时间相同的情况下,她们的精力会更充沛,由此推论,女性的睡眠要比男性深。此外,研究发现,同床而睡还会对做梦产生影响。女性在单独睡觉后,往往会更清楚地记得梦的内容,而男性则是在做爱后,能清楚的回忆起梦的内容。Vocabulary:drop off: 睡觉spare room: 客房;空房 /200808/46277

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